Is there only one relationship?

For many years, we have struggled to understand god.  For many years, we have struggled to understand the people in our lives.  For many years, we have struggled to understand ourselves… Why is it that these struggles feel so similarly challenging? Could it be that they are one and the same? Is there only one relationship?

We seem to be consumed by a need to “find ourselves.”  We read books, we take courses, we go to therapy.  We look to the world for our answers. We become more confused.  At some point, usually when beaten down by the futility of our search for answers, many of us hear a rumor that the answers can be found in a relationship with god.  ‘Great,’ we think, ‘and just how is that supposed to happen?’

For some reason, the idea of a relationship with god seems so complicated, so abstract, so unique.  Perhaps it does not have to be.  Perhaps it is not. Why do we treat the relationship with god so differently than any other relationship we might pursue?  The answer is that we treat it differently because we see ourselves as separate from god, who seems distant, far away, unapproachable.  We need to smash this idea to find that the practical solution to finding a relationship with god is to treat the relationship like any other we might pursue. There is only one relationship.

What would you do,  if you met someone, and really wanted to have a good relationship with them? Lesson 65 in A Course In Miracles states “arrange your day so that you have set apart the time for God, as well as for all the trivial purposes and goals you will pursue.”  Is this not what we would do for our friends and loved ones? Someone we wanted to get to know?  How did we become so close to those we love?  Was it not by making time for them, going out of our way for them, taking action on their behalf?  Was it not by treating them how we would want to be treated?

The answer to finding a relationship with god is simple, pragmatic.  It is the same as every other loving relationship in our lives, including the relationship with ourselves.  If we want a good relationship with god, we take the exact same steps as we would if we wanted a good relationship with any new found friend.  We commit to it, make time for it. We are consistent.  We are honest.  We share freely.  We are not afraid to make mistakes, we do not hide.  We speak frequently- we talk (prayer) and listen (meditation), and both are important.  When we make a mistake, we admit it, we apologize.  When we lose touch, we get back in touch.  We smile, we laugh, we look forward to our time together.

In the beginning of this relationship with god, what if we treated god the same as a new found friend?  What if we made a little time each day to talk and listen? Do this, and you will be amazed by what happens.  As with a new friend, you will discover life more enjoyable when experienced together.  You will face challenges together with less fear. And as you practice, as you establish and strengthen your friendship with god, you will find that you have come to know others and yourself along the way.  If you are willing to do for god as you would for a new found friend, you will come to know the truth that there is only one relationship, and your struggles will pass away.