Living with Honesty

Living with honesty is one of the hardest undertakings one can pursue in the modern world.  According to A Course in Miracles,  “Honesty does not apply only to what you say. The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything.”

By this spiritually rigorous definition, under any conflict, internal or external, lies some form of dishonesty, which includes the most pernicious of forms, self-deception.  Examples that come to mind from real life would include situations like returning a compliment because someone made it of you (telling someone they look pretty too), exaggerating your progress on a project at work (we’re just about there, boss), or pretending to like someone because of something they have to offer you that you think you need (cozying up to that rich but annoying acquaintance).

Practicing living with honesty requires that we find another way… but does this mean that we must be cruel if our thoughts are cruel?  Not at all.  In reality, there is no such thing as “brutal honesty,” because sharing our negative perceptions is not sharing the truth.  When we are dishonest or “brutally” honest, we are seeking to reinforce our limited ideas about ourselves or others.  The truth is that the person who told you you look pretty paid you a beautiful compliment, your boss has given you a worldly stage for your talents, and that what annoys you about that rich acquaintance is really a feeling you have about yourself.  With these types of honest realizations, acting honestly becomes simply a matter of expressing love and gratitude.